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Friday, June 11, 2004

God has already started providing in amazing ways for my family. The body of Christ really going the extra mile. My mom called it sacraficial giving just the sound of that is convicting.
I have achevied cervical ripening and lightening right on schedule. The increase in contractions reminded me that we had nothing ready for labor no bag packed no small outfit for her to wear home. I think that is why God gives first time moms a heads up it reminds you that the pregnancy will not last forever even if you want it to.
I have been feeling horrid this last week It has been really difficult to even want to be with my family as it just feels so huge and there is nothing i can DO. I am going down tomorrow to spend the last week that my dad has at home with him. I have almost come to terms with Dad leaving it is like a two year mission trip He is a missionary at heart it could be good but mom and 8 kids that feels impossible. Last night i scoureged the bible for "I am with you" verses Truth always helps with perspective. Then today I opened up my e-mail to find a letter from Bea ( who said I was beautiful which was really good to hear after being wheighed at the DR's office yeasturday) and a letter from Shannon. They are on the other side of the world...God loves me... He really does want the best for not just me but my whole upside down family...
Life has been super climbing chimneys, trees adn even got back to the gorge! God continualy gives us work to pay the bills and play play play! Our baby will be here shortly and she's doing well we still are taking medication to keep her heart right so continue to pray for us. July 21 Lord willing whewhoo! anyway just have a second to say life is great and I'm heading outa here Grace is ready to go. Later later
Life has been super climbing chimneys, trees adn even got back to the gorge! God continualy gives us work to pay the bills and play play play! Our baby will be here shortly and she's doing well we still are taking medication to keep her heart right so continue to pray for us. July 21 Lord willing whewhoo! anyway just have a second to say life is great and I'm heading outa here Grace is ready to go. Later later

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

We have been going down to my parents a lot this month as it will be the last time in a couple years we will see dad at home.
The baby is doing good not great but good. She has started a new thing where she will skip heart beats which normally I would not be super concerned about but given the circumstances I would much rather her heart sound perfect like it did last week. I am still stuggling so much with haveing a hospital birth I have had to put down a few midwifery books that had the very best intentions but were very anti-hospital. It is to easy for me to become bitter. I don't want our baby taken from us right when she is born, let alone taken from us out of routine.
On the other hand the client whose birth I am attending in a couple of weeks is awsome. Her youngest daughter calls me Nah-you a priceless rendition of Nadya. Every time I am leaving her house after a prenantal I am filled with a firey passion for midwifery. i don't know how I was able to wait this long to get back into it. God obviously has had the timeing worked out though.
My feet are swelling a lot

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